
I've been mulling over thoughts about the topic of fear since last Friday, when we watched "The Grudge" on TV. A movie low on plot, but extremely heavy on disturbing, frightening images that brought goose-pimples to my skin on several occasions. I don't scare easily, but my skin was crawling at several moments in that movie. Any incident that elicits such a response is bound to get me thinking. So I had planned on posting an entry on fear, but never got around to it.
And then Katrina hit, and I was struck silent for several days.
A little backstory:
I grew up in central Florida, right in the middle of Hurricane Alley, but east of the Gulf Coast storms, and west of the Atlantic storms. I never actually rode out a hurricane, never had to, but definitely was in the drivers seat as Andrew bludgeoned south Florida when I was in middle school. I grew up with these things, and I knew many people who did the same. "Why don't you just move?" was always the question. It always seemed the same people faced down the storms, dealt with the aftermath, and moved on.
This is a whole different animal. We live in a media-saturated age, but I must confess the images I'm seeing coming out of Louisiana and Mississippi the past 48 hours have been truly heartbreaking. We've seen the tsunami, refugees from countries all over the world picking up the pieces when life shatters around them, but this is somehow different. It's on our continent, just a few hours in a car or plane ride to the south of us. Many of us have driven by or spent time in New Orleans. We can picture ourselves on those interstates, driving through those neighborhoods.
And it's all gone. Completely washed away.
There are those who say that tragedies like these, senseless is the word most often used, make it tough to believe in a God. It's hard to believe anything benevolent exists out there when devestation claims the lives of the most innocent and undeserving. And it's tough to argue with that on the surface. Somehow, thought, I know that's what life is really all about. And if we're being honest with ourselves, we know that, deep down, we know that life isn't about making sure the bills are paid on time, the car oil is changed every 3,000 miles, and the kids are snug in their beds. Life is about putting the pieces together and finding answers when the world is crumbling beneath our feet. What happens when our safe, tidy system inevitably falls apart? That is when the Big Questions - which have been in the back of our mind all along - suddenly loom large. It is in times like these that we realize we need something more, that our little system of beliefs just isn't cutting it. It doesn't matter how big your God is, when your world is blasted apart, we need Him to be bigger for us.
It reminds me of 9/11 in a sense - I don't know how to go about living my life, eating ice cream on the couch with my wife, when there are people wading through the water in the long night praying for just one more moment with a lost husband or mother.
But we can pray, and we can love. That's the power we do have left to us. We can't be in those places of pain right now, but our beloved Holy Ghost can be.
Pray for the broken and healing in the Mississippi Delta region tonight. God cares most of all for the widows and orphans...